


Good Boy

by Jennifer_Collins



Category: Avengers (Comics), Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Black Widow - Freeform, F/M, Family, Gen, winter soldier - Freeform, winteriscoming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 09:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennifer_Collins/pseuds/Jennifer_Collins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky sees his sister Becky a total of five times in his modern life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.  
> Note: This is still a work in progress, although it is almost finished.

The first time James saw his sister in his modern life, Steve had arranged it. He'd asked Nick Fury to track her down and he'd ordered the car that would take them there. Natasha came with them, gently patted James on the back as they stood in front of St. Francis Alzheimer's Home.

"You ready?" She asked.

He nodded wordlessly and they proceeded inside. Steve walked right up to the counter and introduced himself and his friends. An orderly greeted them and motioned for them to follow her to the elevator. "She has her good days and bad days," the girl warned.

"Thank you," Steve said as she knocked softly on the door and opened it for them.

"Miss Becca?" She called. "You have some visitors today."

"Rebecca Barnes," Steve smiled warmly, grasping her hand in his. "I'm Steve Rogers."

She smiled back. "Oh, I know who you are… Captain America."

"That's right. And this is my friend, Natasha."

She moved forward, politely extending her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Proctor."

"Please… call me Becky. Everybody does."

"Okay.. Becky," Natasha said. She looked to James and tilted her head forward, beckoning him inside. "There's someone else who wants to see you," she said softly.

"Oh, how wonderful," Becky replied.

"James?" Natasha called. She stepped back a couple of steps and took his hand.

He walked in slowly and Becky gasped when she saw him. "It can't be…"

"Hi, Becca," He said.

She got up from her seat at the round table and gestured for the others to sit down, but no one did. She shuffled across the floor to him, squinting slightly. "B..Bucky?"

He eagerly let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Yeah, it's me."

She raised her hands to her face. "But.. how is this possible?"

He looked down at the floor. "There's a lot.. that I need to catch you up on."

She nodded. "You're so… young…" She reached her hand out to his face, her fingers moving across his cheek and he had to remind himself to lean into her touch rather than cringe away as she slid her hand down his neck and across his shoulder. She frowned and pulled away for a second, pushing his sleeve up and running her frail fingers up his metal arm. "When did this happen?" She asked.

"Oh.. uh, back at the end of the war…" He explained awkwardly.

She nodded in understanding, still examining the prosthetic.

"It's fine, really…" He said.

She murmured a joke, something about "flesh and blood" that he didn't really hear, but he smiled anyway, although the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

She looked up at him. "Well, now. Why don't we all have a seat?"

Natasha gently pushed him forward.

Becky's eyes sparkled. "Such as beautiful woman. Is she your girlfriend?"

"We're just… uh.."

"Yeah," Natasha spoke up. "Something like that."

Becky raised an eyebrow.

"We… dated a while back," Natasha explained. She shrugged. "We've recently become re-acquainted."

"Isn't that sweet?" Becky said with a smile. "My brother always did get the pretty ones."

James coughed. Natasha laughed, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Just relax," she whispered, and he found that it was easier to lean into Natasha's touch than his own sister's.

"So what brings Captain America and company to see little old me?" Becky asked once they were all settled around the table.

"Actually, we wanted to hear about you," Steve said.

James nodded.

"Oh, there's not much to tell really." She patted James' hand. "I had a good life."

"What did you do after school?" James asked.

"I went to college."

"Really?" James said, surprised. "That's… nice."

"Yes.. Columbia University," she continued. "I got a pretty decent scholarship from the army."

"Oh. I didn't know that," he said.

She nodded. "That's where I met George."

"Your husband, right."

"I've got a photo album somewhere…" She started.

"I'll go get it for you," the orderly offered.

"We have two children," Becky said. "George Junior and Patricia. They even have kids." She smiled. "Have you got any children?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Well, you'll like my grandkids. They're about your age," she said happily.

James looked down at the table and fidgeted with his hands.

The orderly placed the photo album down on the table in front of Becky. "Ah, yes. Here they are," she said, pointing to a picture. She pushed her chair closer to his and started flipping through the pages.

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot. My granddaughter Kimmy, she had a baby not too long ago. That's her right there."

James nodded. He listened to her stories and looked at the pictures with genuine interest for a few hours more, until a nurse peeked her head in and reminded them that visiting hours would be ending soon. By the time Steve and Natasha were standing up, he realized that he didn't want to go.

"I've missed out on so much," He murmured as he bent down to give her a hug.

She tapped his chin up. "No regrets," she told him.

He nodded. "No regrets."

She embraced him again. "You always were such a good boy, Jimmy. Will you come to see me again?"

"Really soon," he promised. "Maybe next time your family can come?"

"They're your family too," she reminded him.

He smiled. "Right."

The orderly gently ushered them out. She informed James that he would have to sign out at the front desk. She turned to Steve and Natasha once he was out of earshot. "He's good for her," she commented. "I hope he really does come back soon."

"He will," Steve assured her.

"Only one thing... she thinks he's her brother," the orderly said, shaking her head.

Steve and Natasha exchanged a knowing glance.

James made his way back over to them after signing out, nodded to the orderly.

"Today was a good day for her," the orderly told him. "She might not remember you the next time you come."

"That's fine," he said.

"Come on," Natasha said, taking his hand. "Let's go home."

James grinned. "So now you're my girlfriend, huh?"

She winked. "You wish."

He laughed. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

She shrugged. "It just seemed.. easier."

Steve placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."


	2. Chapter 2

It was less than a week later that James saw his sister for the second time in his modern life. This time he went by himself, taking the train up to Westchester. When he arrived, an orderly was paged down to meet him and they rode the elevator back up to the fourth floor in silence.

Becky was sitting by the window reading a book when the orderly knocked on her door. "Miss Becca? James Barnes is here to see you again."

Her face instantly broke out into a smile when she saw him. He gave a shy wave and she motioned for him to join her. "Come on in, Jimmy."

"So you do remember this handsome young man?" the orderly said with a smile.

"I could never forget my big brother," Becky replied.

She patted the space next to her on the couch, but James pulled out a chair from the table and sat across from her. He leaned close and asked quietly what they had to do to be alone.

"Um, nurse can you give us a moment?" She asked.

The orderly gave a friendly, though surprised, smile. "Of course. I'll be in to check on you a little later then," she said.

Becky turned to James, offered him a cup of tea, which he declined. "I didn't expect to see you so soon," Becky said. "Has it been long?"

He shook his head. "No. No, I was just here on Tuesday, remember?"

She nodded. "I do."

He sighed. "Beck… there's something I have to tell you."

"A story?"

"It's… a long story," he said. "And not a very happy one."

She raised a cautious eyebrow. "Go on."

He took a deep breath, found he was unable to meet her gentle gaze, but started anyway. He told her about his accident at the end of the war, about waking up in Soviet Russia. He told her everything he could about his Winter Soldier years, about the crimes he'd committed, about coming back to the States and Steve restoring his memories. He talked for a long time, and all the while she held onto his hand.

There were times during the story where he cried and he'd look up to see that she was crying as well. There were times where he'd clench his fist in anger, but still she never let go of his hand.

She gave a low whistle when he was done speaking.

"I'm so sorry, Becky," he whispered.

She placed a frail hand under his chin, forced him to look up at her. "It wasn't your fault, Bucky," she said.

He nodded. "That's what Steve says. That's what they all say. And yet the blood is still on my hands." He squeezed his eyes shut. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't. So what are you doing to change it?"

He opened his eyes, perplexed. "I can't change it. It's already done. All of it."

She pursed her lips. "Then I guess you're completely helpless."

"What? No.."

"That's right. Where's the Jimmy I know? You were always such a good boy, Jimmy.."

He blinked. "I think you're totally missing the point of the story."

"No, I understood it just fine. It's you who doesn't understand." She leaned in closer. "Take it from me. They can take your mind, but they can't take your soul."

He sniffed. "This is a little different, Becky."

"Not really. Sometimes things happen. Things we can't control. I know, I'm old." She squeezed his hand. "The things that happen to us don't change who we are though. Like… I wasn't supposed to wind up fifty years older than my big brother," she said thoughtfully.

He managed a dry smile. "I think I see."

"Good. The next step is you forgiving yourself."

He shook his head. "I don't see that happening anytime soon. It's just too hard… "

"The Jimmy I know wouldn't give up so easily. You've got to fight it. Fight like the soldier you were always meant to be."

"I'll try."

"That's a start," she said with a smile. "Now come on over here and give your old sister a hug."

"Gladly," he grinned as he embraced her fiercely. "Thanks, sis."

"You really are a good boy, James Buchanan Barnes," she said softly. "And I do love you very much."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He fell asleep on the train ride home that night, and it was the most consecutive sleep he'd gotten since his memories had been restored. When the train stopped in Brooklyn, he was surprised to see that Steve was waiting for him at the station.

"How did you know?" He asked groggily. "Never mind, you always know."

Steve nodded. "Come on, pal. Let's get you home." He placed a firm hand on James's shoulder.

"I told her everything," James said quietly.

"I figured," Steve said. "How did it go?"

He shrugged. "As well as it could have, I guess. It's just been a really long day."

Natasha was waiting for them in the car. "James.. how are you?"

"Tired," he said, yawning as he shuffled into the back seat.

She nodded to Steve. "You drive. I'll sit with him," she said.

He slid into the driver's seat as she climbed into the back seat beside James. She placed an arm around him and he sleepily rested his head on her shoulder. The last thing he recalled was the soothing motion of her fingers moving across his temple.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He was awakened the next morning by a soft knock. He clumsily made his way over to the door.

"James.. good morning," Natasha said.

"'Morning," he replied with a yawn.

"I thought maybe you could use a friend," she said.

He nodded, stepping aside to let her in his room.

She closed the door behind her. "Steve said you had a rough night."

"I told her… everything."

She nodded. "I know that couldn't have been easy for you."

He threw his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder.

She tightened her embrace on him, gently stroking his hair. "It's okay. You're okay, James," she whispered softly.

"I… she…."

"I know," she murmured. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, pulled back slightly, looking into her eyes.

She raised her hands to his face, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb.

He mirrored her actions, carefully positioning his hands on either side of her face. She hissed slightly at the sudden cold touch of his left hand.

"Oh.. sorry.." he murmured.

She smiled. "It's fine," she said.

"Good." He leaned his face closer, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips roughly against hers.

"James…" she placed a hand firmly on his muscular chest.

"What? A pretend boyfriend can't get a real kiss?" He pouted playfully.

"Are you thinking clearly?" She whispered.

"No.. but I know I've wanted to kiss you since last week…"

She grinned. "Then kiss me," she said.

He kissed her again, this time more gently, and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer as she kissed him back.

"I think maybe you wanted to kiss me too?" he asked.

She nodded. "I think maybe you're right…" She thought for a moment. "Will you go to see her again?"

He sighed. "Yeah. It's funny, isn't it? I've been closer with my sister in the past week than our entire lives…" He looked down at his feet. "She accepts me. For who I am."

She looked up at him questioningly. "Do you accept you for you?"

He smiled dryly. "I'm still trying to figure that out."

"Do you want to go to see her again today?"

He nodded.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yes, please."

"Then let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha offered to get a car from S.H.I.E.L.D., but James had denied, so the third time he went to see his sister they rode the train. Natasha sat across from him with her legs stretched out on his seat. She suggested that maybe the next time Becky could come by them instead. James smiled, thinking inwardly how she was only saying that because she hated public transportation, but she wouldn't let it go.

"It could be good for her to get out," She insisted.

He nodded. "Maybe you're right…"

"Great. Then we'll ask Tony when we get back," she decided.

When they arrived at the home, the orderly was paged down to greet them as usual, and as usual they all rode the elevator up in silence.

"Miss Becca," the girl said with a gentle knock on her door. "Mr. Barnes is here to see you again."

"Mr. Barnes?" Becky said as she opened the door. "I don't know any Mr. Barnes…"

"Beck, It's me," James said with a smile. "It's Jimmy… Bucky."

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, which is it? Jimmy or Bucky?"

He frowned. "You know me. I'm James Buchanan Barnes, remember? You used to call me Bucky… ah.. everyone did."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, son. But I don't remember."

He looked at the floor. "That's alright, I guess. There was a time where I forgot you too," he mumbled.

Natasha put an arm around his shoulder. "Well, we're here now. We might as well stay for a visit. If that's okay with you, Ms. Proctor?"

"It's fine by me. But please, call me Becky. And you are?"

Natasha laughed. "Silly me. Where are my manners? I'm Natasha Romanoff, ma'am."

Becky eagerly shook her hand. "Such a lovely young lady." She nodded to James. "Is she your girlfriend?"

James met Natasha's eyes and she grinned. "Uh, yeah.."

"How nice." She clapped her hands. "Well, it's such a beautiful day today. Would you like to come outside and see the garden?"

He looked at the orderly, and she shrugged. "I don't see why you couldn't go for a little walk. Just don't be too long," she warned.

"Thank you," Natasha replied, already reaching for Becky to help her out the door.

It was a nice day out, and they strolled leisurely around the grounds, with Becky's arm slipped through James'. Natasha trailed one step behind them, keeping a close distance as she observed them.

Even though Becky didn't remember them, she did keep up conversation with them both. The conversation was pleasant enough as they walked about. She pointed out different flowers to them, telling them the names and James didn't know anything about flowers, but he was pretty sure she got it wrong. Even so, he nodded politely at all the right intervals and smiled when she picked out a yellow one and told him it was her favorite kind.

Finally, Becky told them that she was getting tired and wanted to go back inside. The orderly met them at the door and she escorted Becky upstairs by herself while James signed out at the front desk.

When he turned around to go, Natasha took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry," she said.

He shrugged. "We knew this was a possibility, eventually," he said. After awhile he told her, "I don't know if I want to come back here again."

"Alright," Natasha said, but only because she knew he didn't mean it. They waited for the train in silence.

The train going back to the city was much more crowded than the train coming out. They would have to sit next to each other. James offered her the window seat, but she insisted on taking the aisle, telling him that she didn't like to feel confined.

He obliged, sliding across the seat all the way. Once the train started moving, she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"You know, the other one's a lot more comfortable if you want to switch seats," he said.

"I forgot about your thing with people not touching your metal arm," she replied.

"It's not that," he said defensively.

"Well… it's not as uncomfortable as you think," she promised, leaning further into him.

"Okay," he said, wrapping his arm around her and resting his cheek against her forehead. "Too confined?" he murmured.

"No," she said softly, closing her eyes. "It's fine."


	4. Chapter 4

When they arrived back at Stark Tower later that night, they were greeted by loud music and a large crowd of people that was spilling into the lobby.

"What the hell?" James muttered.

"Just one of the many perks of living with Tony Stark," Natasha said dryly.

It didn't take long for them to be spotted by Steve and Clint, who made their way over to them through the herd.

"Lively party," Natasha commented.

Steve rolled his eyes. "How did it go?"

James frowned.

"You look like you could use a drink," Clint said.

"Actually, I think James would just like to go up to bed," Natasha said.

James turned to her. "Maybe just one drink after the day we had…"

Natasha sighed. "Fine. One drink. But then I'm going to bed."

Clint nodded. "Come on then. I'm getting a round for all of us."

Just then, Tony appeared through the crowd, surrounded by a swarm of busty women on either side. "Ladies, who do we have here? I believe it's Captain Steve Rogers and-"

"Bucky Barnes!" A few of the girls shouted.

Clint grinned.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick," Natasha said sarcastically as James and Clint let themselves be dragged away.

"Steve!" Tony shouted, motioning with his hands for him to follow.

Steve shook his head. "I'll catch up with you later," he called. He turned to Natasha. "So, really. How did it go at the home?"

"Not good. She didn't even know who he was."

He set his mouth in a line. "I was afraid that would start happening. I did hope it would be later, rather than sooner. I guess he really does need a drink tonight."

Natasha narrowed her eyes. "I think I am going to head to the bar after all. You want anything?"

"Nah. I'll walk over there with you though."

"Captain America!" A tall, leggy blonde called with a wave.

He leaned closer to Natasha. "Stay close," he whispered loudly.

She laughed, slipping her arm through his. "Don't worry, Cap. Stick with me and I'll make sure no one bothers you," she promised.

They noticed Bruce sitting at a table in the shadows and they purposefully made their way over to him. He nodded a silent hello when they approached and gestured for them to sit. "Rough day?" He asked.

Natasha groaned, turning her cup around in her hand.

"Apparently not as rough as Tony's," Steve commented. "Does he do this often?"

She thought for a moment. "More often than you'd be comfortable with, if you're going to be staying here. Not so often that it becomes a habitual routine."

Bruce nodded. "Great." He looked over to where Clint and James were laughing loudly and gesturing in wild conversation with the girls.

James looked up at them and waved to Steve. "Steve-o!" He shouted. "Get over here!"

"Looks like your friend is having a good time," Bruce said with an amused half smile.

Steve put his face in his hands. "That's Bucky alright."

Natasha glared at the girls that were now blatantly hanging on him. "Well it's not the 'Bucky' I know."

A uniformed S.H.I.E.L.D. agent approached their table and informed Steve that Director Fury wanted to see him at base. Steve groaned.

"Don't worry," Natasha said, already rising up from her seat. "I'll make sure he gets to bed safely." She turned to Bruce. "Do you want to find Pepper and shut this down?"

Bruce smiled a tight lipped smile. "Gladly."

"Good."

Steve got up from the table to leave with the agent as Bruce and Natasha went their separate ways. She briskly walked up to the bar where her friends were still flirting with the women, angrily tapping Clint on the shoulder.

"Tasha! Glad you could join us," Clint said with a wink.

She smacked the back of his head. "You got him this drunk already?"

He frowned. "Lighten up. It was just a couple of shots. And some other…" he trailed off absently, laughing at something one of the girls said.

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Clint shrugged. "Looked like he needed to loosen up a little. Relax."

"Pepper's on her way down here to shut this down. I'm putting him to bed and I suggest you go as well." With that she wrapped her fingers around James' wrist.

"Nat!" He said happily, placing an arm loosely around her shoulders.

"Come on, James. The party's over," she said sternly.

The girls pouted.

"Aw come on, 'Tasha. We were just having fun," he whined.

"Yes, I saw that."

He leaned close to face "Y' don' have ta be so jealss. Y'know I love you most of all, right?"

She patted his head. "Yes, I know. Now come on, we're going upstairs now." She carefully led him away from the crowd and was grateful to see Pepper had approached Tony.

The volume of the music had already been drastically turned down by the time she got him into the hall and she pressed the button on the elevator with a sigh.

"My head hurtsss," he slurred.

"I know," she said softly. "But you're going to bed now."

"Bad day," he murmured.

"Things will be better in the morning," she said as she helped him into the elevator.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad. Come on," she held her hand over the elevator door as he stumbled out.

"Where's Steve?"

"He got called on some S.H.I.E.L.D. business. He'll be back soon." She opened the door to his quarters and flicked on the lights. "There you go. Inside."

He raised his arm up, resting his hand on the door frame. "Stay here tonight."

"I don't think so."

"Come on, 'Tasha. I promise, I won't try anything."

"You're drunk."

"So? I said I promise."

She smiled. "Goodnight, James." With that, she turned around to head back down the hallway.

"Nat?"

She looked over her shoulder to see him still standing in the doorway.

"I really do love you most of all. You know that, right?"

She grinned. "I know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was 3 in the morning when James' cell phone went off. He grumbled out loud before rolling over to pick it up, his head pounding.

"Bucky?" a small voice said.

"Beck? Is that you?"

"It's me."

He frowned. "What are you doing calling me at 3 in the morning?" he said.

She was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry. I thought it was 3 in the afternoon…"

"That's okay."

"What are you doing up at 3 in the morning?"

"Mmmm… I'm hungover," he admitted.

"Jimmy!" She exclaimed. "Remember what Daddy told you about underage drinking…"

He sighed. "I know, sis. I'm sorry. It will never happen again." He pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"Good. You didn't come to visit me today like you said you would," she said accusingly.

He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I had a… uh thing."

"A Captain America thing?"

"Uh… yeah."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "Oh, that's alright, Bucky. I understand. You're such a good boy."

He looked down at his feet, didn't say anything.

"You will come to see me soon, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, of course," he said. He thought for a moment. "Actually… " he said, laying back down and pressing the phone closer to his ear. "What would you say about coming over here to see me?"


	5. Chapter 5

The tower grounds were buzzing with excitement on the day that Bucky saw his sister for the fourth time in his modern life. Tony made sure the outdoor bar was well stocked, while Bruce and Steve playfully argued over who would get to fire up the grill first.

Natasha insisted that James help her hang paper lanterns and suggested that Clint find toys for the children to play with, which he awkwardly obliged.

Pepper checked the sound system and selected appropriate music for the occasion. Once they were all finished preparing the huge courtyard, they took a step back to admire their work.

"We should do this more often," Tony said to Pepper. She nodded in agreement.

"This is amazing," James said, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Tony replied. "It was really Natasha who did all the hard work."

He looked across the yard to where she was helping Clint blow up inflatable toys for the pool. She looked up to meet his gaze and winked.

Finally, the Proctor family arrived and Natasha and Tony moved on either side of James to greet them. Becky eagerly hugged Natasha and introduced them to her children, George and Patricia, who had arrived with their spouses, children, and grandchildren.

James wasn't sure if his niece and nephew really knew who he was. The quiet understanding look in Patricia's eyes told him yes, although if they thought anything strange, they didn't voice it out loud. George gripped his hand in a firm handshake and introduced him to his grandchildren as "Uncle Jimmy."

It turned out that George's nine-year old grandson was really interested in science and was eager to talk to Bruce. Kim let Natasha hold the baby, Nancy, who was really almost three by now. From there the party really got started.

Soon there were members of the Barnes-Proctor family all around the yard, eating hamburgers and hot dogs under a large umbrella, laying out by the pool, even starting up a game of football in the grass.

James walked arm in arm with Becky and led her over to the gardens, showing her the yellow flowers. "Oh, those are my favorites, you know," she informed him.

He nodded. "I know," he said with a warm smile.

"This is really nice," Becky commented. "It's good to see that you're being taken care of."

"I didn't realize you had so many great-grandchildren," James said as he watched them in the pool.

"Oh, yes, three," she said proudly. "Do you want to go play with them?"

He shrugged. "I'm not really that good with kids…."

"Nonsense," she said with a toss of her hand. "Nancy!" she called. "Come throw that ball over here to Uncle Jimmy."

She obediently climbed out of the pool and toddled over to him, throwing an inflatable ball to him with all her might. He laughed and tossed it back gently. Her two older cousins came running after her, followed by Steve and Patricia and soon they were all involved in the game.

They ran all over the yard until Bruce called that the food was ready. The children went to sit with their parents and grandparents and James and Steve sat at a nearby table with Becky. James picked at his food long after the others had finished and the kids got up to play again.

Patricia came over and pulled out the fourth chair at their table. She asked Steve to tell her stories from the war, keeping her eyes trained on James' face and for a moment he was certain that she knew. Then Natasha wandered over and Steve murmured that he would go find her a chair.

"Don't bother," James said, pulling her into his lap and she laughed.

"Young love," Becky breathed.

Natasha grinned at him and he winked back.

"That's a stunning necklace, Becca," Natasha commented idly.

"Oh, this old thing?" Becky said, fingering the heart hanging from her neck. "This was my mother's," she said fondly.

James took a closer look. "I think I remember that," he said.

She nodded. "It's a locket, see?" she opened up the hinge to reveal two black and white photos on either side. One was of a really young girl. The other was of a little boy. Both were smiling brightly.

"Is that your mother?" Natasha asked.

Becky shook her head. "That's me, as a little girl. And that's Bucky."

She smiled. "You were so cute."

"Were?" He asked, pretending to be hurt.

Becky laughed. "You still are a handsome devil. With that same old Bucky Barnes charm."

James smiled wistfully. "Where did you get that? I figured all of Mama's jewelry was lost after Dad passed."

Becky shook her head. "I took it. Right before they shipped me away to boarding school."

James looked down. Natasha patted his hand gently. Just then, the three children came bounding over to their table, each grabbing hold of James' arm. "Come on, Unca Jimmy," Nancy said. "Come play wif us."

"Alright. But only if Uncle Steve comes too."

Steve laughed. "Okay, okay."

Natasha sank down into his abandoned seat and took a sip from her lemonade. "I'm so glad you could come here, Becca."

"Me too, dear. I think this is just what he needed."

Natasha nodded. "I think you're right about that."

"Nobody understands him like you do," Becky said.

She looked up at the older woman. "No, I suppose not."

"He's such a good boy, that Jimmy."

She smiled. "I know he is."

"He doesn't see it though," Becky said, her eyebrows furrowed.

"No," Natasha agreed.

"But you're so good at taking care of him," Becky commented.

"I hope so," she replied.

Becky nodded. "You are. I can tell. He needs someone to take care of him. I hope you always will be that person, Natasha."

Natasha met her gaze. "I will," she promised, taking the old woman's hand into hers.

It was well after nightfall when the Proctors left and everyone went inside after the cleanup. Natasha and James stayed outside for awhile, folding the paper lanterns. "Today was a fun day," Natasha said.

"Yeah," he agreed. He took her hands in his. "Thank you… for this."

She smiled, raising a hand up to his face. "You deserve it," she whispered.

He leaned over and kissed her lips. "Hey.. what did my sister say to you after Steve and I left the table?"

"She asked me to take care of you."

He nodded. "Did you tell her I can take care of myself?"

She shook her head. "No. I told her I would."

"You didn't have to."

"I know. I wanted to."

He raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because I do care for you, James." She pulled him into a hug.

He eagerly returned her embrace, breathing in the scent of her hair. "Natasha… I…"

"Ssssh," she whispered into his ear.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next night, Becky called his cell phone again. She went on and on about what a great time she'd had at the tower and he assured her that he'd had fun too.

"You will come to visit me again?" She asked.

"Of course," he promised.

"Now?" she asked.

"Umm… it's eleven thirty. They won't let me come now. Visiting hours are over," James said.

"But I need to see you right now. Have to give you something."

"Beck… I can't come now. I'll stop by tomorrow morning."

"You promise?"

"I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Bucky woke up early to prepare for the long train ride to Westchester. He was surprised to hear a knock at his door. "Natasha," He said.

"James, good," she said with a smile. "I wanted to catch you before Nick got ahold of you… oh, sorry. Were you on your way somewhere?"

He nodded. "I'm going up to see my sister."

"Again?"

"Yeah. She called me late last night." He shrugged. "Said it was important."

"Oh.. well, do you want some company?"

He winked. "You just want an excuse to cuddle up close to me again, huh?"

She swatted him playfully on the chest. "I don't need an excuse to get close to you, do I?" she asked with a coy smile.

He grinned, leaning his arm against the doorframe. "No, ma'am…"

She looked up at him, suddenly realizing how close his face was to hers. "Uh, we should get going, yes? You don't want to get there too late if it's really that important, right?"

He nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off hers. "Right," he said softly.

They walked down the hall to the elevator in awkward silence. When they got to the ground floor, they walked past Steve, who made a sly comment about catching them together.

"We're going upstate to see Becca," Natasha said, sounding a little irritated.

"Why don't you come with us?" James asked.

"Alright. I can do that. But not if you're driving," he joked.

"We're taking the train," Natasha informed him.

Steve shook his head. "I don't like to travel by train."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since about seventy years ago," Steve countered.

"But you live in the city," Natasha pushed.

James held up a hand. "Alright. We'll take a car. Nat, can you drive?"

She nodded. "Of course."

XXXXXXX

The ride up to the home was a lot less tense than their encounter at the tower, with Natasha mostly talking S.H.I.E.L.D. business for the whole way.

James fidgeted his metal fingers in anxious anticipation. He was glad when they finally pulled into the parking lot, and he was the first one to unbuckle his seatbelt and exit the car.

They walked single file through the automatic sliding doors and Steve and Natasha hung back a few steps while he went to the counter to check in. The clerk paged the orderly as usual and they waited patiently for her to come down.

James turned his head when he heard the elevator doors slide open and the orderly bustled out in a disorganized mess. "Oh, Mr. Barnes," she said, her eyes red-rimmed and cheeks flushed.

"What is it?" He asked, his heart already sinking to his stomach. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so, so sorry…" she sobbed.

Steve rushed forward, placing a strong hand on his shoulder, and Natasha leaned in close, slipping her arm through his and clutching his hand, which he had raised over his mouth. It took him a moment to realize that the wet on his knuckles was coming from him and not her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Thanks, Tony." Steve touched the Bluetooth at his ear. He turned to James, who was sitting on the couch in his quarters with his head in his hands. "The others are having breakfast downstairs, Buck. Do you want to join them?"

He shook his head. "I just want to stay here until it's time to go."

Steve frowned. "You have to eat something. I'll have Pepper bring you up a plate?"

He shrugged. "Whatever."

Steve sat down next to him. "She was 86," he said, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulders.

James nodded. "I should have listened to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I should have written her more often. When we were in the army. Should have visited her, or something."

Steve patted him on the back.

"I didn't even know her husband," James said, looking up. "Her kids, everybody just grew up without me."

"Bucky…. don't."

"I wasn't a very good brother," he mumbled.

Steve shook his head. "That's not true. You were always a good brother to me, pal."

James offered a weak smile. "Maybe not always…."

"What did your sister tell you the first day we went to visit her?" Steve asked. "No regrets, right?"

James nodded. "No regrets." He sighed. "I might be a little hungry after all."

Steve touched his Bluetooth and asked J.A.R.V.I.S. for Pepper.

"She said Natasha wrapped up a dish for you. She went to change into her dress, but she'll be right here."

"How about that? She's a good girlfriend after all," James quipped.

Steve smiled. "So.. you and Natasha…."

"Were over about fifty-something years ago," James said quickly.

Steve shook his head. "No need to get so defensive."

"I'm glad Becky had a chance to meet her," James said after a moment.

Steve nodded. "They did get along real well."

"I should probably make more of an effort to keep in touch with her family, huh? Think she'd want that?"

"Probably.. but what do you want?"

"I don't know, Steve… I…. I'm just….."

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. James groaned.

Steve rose up to answer the door. "It's Natasha," he said over his shoulder.

James gestured for him to let her in.

"I've brought you your breakfast," she said gently, setting the plate on the table, along with a gray bag.

James stood up and walked towards her, taking in the sight of her in her flattering black dress. "My God. You are exquisite," he said, taking her hand and raising it to his lips.

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear with her free hand. "Thank you."

He thought for a moment. "I haven't worn a suit since my dad's funeral. I don't even think I have one…"

"Clint's handler went shopping last night. Your suit is in the bag, along with shoes and a tie."

James whistled. "I'm impressed. I guess I should go change. Will you two excuse me for a moment?"

Steve nodded. "Of course."

"How is he, really?" Natasha asked once he disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Steve sighed. "He's…. about as good as can be expected."

"That's what I figured," she said.

"It was good of you to think of all this," Steve said.

"Oh, but Clint's handler.."

"Natasha."

She smiled. "Well, he's a good boy," she said softly.

"Well, what do you know? It fits perfectly," James said, buttoning his jacket as he walked back into the main room. "I can't do ties, though."

Natasha laughed. "Don't look at me. I'm good but I'm not that good."

Steve stepped forward. "I can help you with that."

Natasha tapped her Bluetooth. "The limos here," she said quietly.

James kept his eyes fixed on Steve's. "Are you riding with me?"

"If you want me to," Steve said.

James nodded, closing his eyes for a second. "Please." He turned to Natasha. "Nat?"

"I'll ride with you," she said gently.

Steve finished knotting his tie and patted him on the shoulder. "I have to go change. You can come down when you're ready."

James nodded.

"What can I do for you?" Natasha asked after he'd left.

"Um… there's paperwork in the top drawer over there. Can you hold onto that for me until we get there?"

"Of course. What else do you need?"

"One more thing."

She looked up at him. "Anything."

"Stay close to me," he whispered, lower lip trembling.

She threw her arms around his waist, pulling his body close to hers, and he eagerly returned her embrace. "I won't leave your side," she promised.


	8. Chapter 8

Becky's children and grandchildren were waiting outside when the limo pulled up to the funeral home. Patricia came forward to embrace James first, followed by George. They all went inside to pay their respects together before the other guests arrived. Not long after that, the other cars arrived with the rest of the Avengers.

James was glad when Natasha kept her promise. She stood by his side with her hand on the small of his back as they greeted his family's friends and neighbors. She was much better at that sort of thing than he was anyway. Steve, of course, got along with everyone and he wasn't that surprised to see Tony and Clint mingling as well.

After a polite amount of time, he whispered to Natasha that he wanted to sit down and they selected a seat next to Bruce.

Patricia found her way over to them, with Nancy in her arms. When they approached, Nancy held out her hands to James and Patricia sat her down on his lap. She touched his face with her chubby little fingers. "I love you, Unca Jimmy," she said with wide eyes.

James smiled and ran a hand through her unruly hair. "I love you too, baby girl."

Patricia leaned over, whispered that she needed to speak to him alone. He picked Nancy up and sat her down on the seat he vacated. "You sit here with Aunt Natasha, okay?"

"Okay, Unca Jimmy," Nancy said as Natasha wrapped both her arms around her.

He followed Patricia out into the hall. "What is it?"

She took one of his hands in both of hers, placing something inside it.

"What's this?" He said, turning his wrist and picking up a necklace. "Oh… no, Patricia… I can't.."

"It was your mother's," Patricia insisted.

He shook his head. "Still… maybe you should give it to one of your girls, or your grand-daughter…."

Patricia smiled. "Maybe one day you could give it your own daughter."

He ran his finger over the hinge. "I don't know about that."

"Either way, I know my mom wanted you to have it. Uncle Bucky."

He looked up, his mouth slightly open. "So you do know."

She nodded. "I know."

"I… uh… "

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. You don't have to explain." She thought for a moment. "The family is coming over to my house after the funeral tomorrow. I hope you come. You can bring your friends. They're all welcome."

He nodded. "Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

It was late by the time they all arrived back at the tower from upstate. James told Natasha that he just wanted to go straight to bed, and she offered to walk him to his room.

"Thank you, for everything," James said once they were standing in front of his door.

She shook her head. "You don't need to thank me," she said. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded. "It's just… been a long couple of days."

She thought for a moment. "Do you want to… do something tomorrow? Something different?"

"Yeah. Yeah, we could do something."

She smiled. "Okay. I'll see you in the morning?"

He took her hand. "Unless you want to stay with me for a bit."

"Sure."

He opened the door and gestured for her to go in first.

"Do you want me to make some coffee?" She asked.

"Um.. sure." He tugged at his tie. "If you want it."

She laughed. "I may not be able to tie those things, but untie them I can do," she said, reaching for his neck.

He smiled. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know," she said teasingly.

He sat down on the edge of his bed, kicking off his shoes. "You're so good to me," he said, pulling her down next to him.

"Well, you're a good boy."

He sighed.

"Sorry. I know that was your sister's thing…"

He shook his head. "It's fine."

She stayed quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. He slowly slumped down into the bed, resting his head on the pillow. "Do you want me to go now?" She asked.

He shook his head. After a moment, she stretched out next to him on her side, propping her head up on her elbow.

"Natasha…. do you feel as old as you are?" He asked quietly.

"Who are you calling old?" She teased.

He frowned. "You know what I mean."

She nodded. "I've never really thought about it before. I suppose not," she said. "What about you?"

"No," he answered. "I don't feel any older than I look." He turned his head to look at her. "It's… weird. To think that my baby sister did a whole lifetime's worth of growing up without me."

She reached out and stroked his arm. "I know," she whispered. "But she had a good life. No regrets, right?"

"Yeah." He closed his eyes. "Except I have so many."

"We'll work on that," she whispered. She brushed his hair back. "Do you want to go to sleep?"

He nodded.

"Okay." She started to pull herself up.

"No." He closed his hand around her wrist. "Don't go. Stay the night."

"I will. I just need to go to my room for a second to change."

He shook his head. "Just wear one of my shirts or something," he mumbled into a pillow, reaching for the lightswitch.

She blinked in the darkness. "Right." She reached into a drawer and grabbed a shirt, then checked to make sure he wasn't looking before she pulled her dress over her head. "And I suppose I'm sleeping in your bed with you?"

He rolled over. "I won't try anything, I promise."

She could hear the smile in his voice. She climbed over him as she settled onto the side that he wasn't occupying. "It's okay if you try a little something," she said quietly.

He turned back around to face her. "Really?"

She nodded. "Really."

He grinned. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hold me like you did when I was young," she whispered.

"Gladly," he said, pulling her against him and burying his face in her hair.

She pushed her face into his chest. "You have no idea how much I missed this," she said.

He swallowed. "I can imagine…"

"It's been awhile," she said.

"Too long," he agreed. "What made you change your mind?"

She pulled her face away from his body long enough to look up at him. "Now there's nobody to tell me I can't have you," she said simply, pressing her lips against his throat.

"Oh. Well you already know my family approves," he said smiling. "So where's the fun in that?"

She raised her mouth to his, kissing him thoroughly. He wrapped a leg around hers in protest when she pulled away. "I'll show you," she whispered, leaning over him.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on a scene from Captain America & Bucky #624, written by Ed Brubaker and published by Marvel Comics. In the scene, Bucky's sister was in an Altzheimer's home when he and Natasha had gone to visit her. My grandmother had suffered from Altzheimer's, so I'm well aware of how unpredictable and utterly heart-breaking this disease can be and hope I have not treated it lightly in this fic. My ultimate goal here was to depict Bucky's constant struggle for self-acceptance through his (sometimes awkward) relationships with the major people in his life.


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